OUR LAUGHING MATTERS          


Boy Model
 

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP (Boy) MODEL
Script © 2007 by Leah and Rachel Solomon
CAST (8): Announcer, Tyra, Photo man, Tristan, Jake, Orlando, Chad and Roger

ANNOUNCER: Coming up on America’s Next Top Model we’re down to the final five. Chad cracks under the pressure while Orlando struggles with unhealthy eating habits. Jake criticizes a fellow contestant!

         LIGHTS: up on stage 
         MSX: music continues to play as … 
         Each boy walks down center of stage like a model, 
         strikes a pose, and walks over the “house area" 
         stage left … Tristan, Jake, Orlando, Chad, then Roger. 
         LIGHTS: blackout 

         MSX: music out 
         LIGHTS: up on guys in “house”

TRISTAN: Oh my gosh I just can’t believe that James got eliminated at panel tonight!

CHAD: Oh my gosh I know…his pictures were so good…. I could be next!!! 

         LIGHTS: blackout 
         FOLLOWSPOTS: up on Tristan

TRISTAN: (Tristan walks to front of stage for confessional) Ummmm Chad’s really starting to freak me out. He’s snapped. I like think that he’s like taking this competition like way too seriously. I mean come on! (Tristan steps back) 

         FOLLOWSPOTS: out 
         LIGHTS: up on the guys as before

ORLANDO: (runs in) Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my goshhhhhhh

JAKE: What, silly?

ORLANDO: Do these pants make my butt look big!?

ROGER: You are like the skinniest person ever…you barely have a butt.

ORLANDO: No I’m not

ROGER: Yes you are

ORLANDO: No I’m not

ROGER: Yes you are

JAKE: Guys! If It’s one thing we should all know its that we are all perfect just the way we are. Except for you Chad…you could benefit from loosing just a lil bit of weight.

CHAD: Bahhhhh (runs away crying)

JAKE: What!? What I do?

ORLANDO: (steps forward) I think that Jake is being a little too critical to the other guys because we all know that he is just jealous of Tristan’s fab abs. (Steps back)

ANNOUNCER: You’ve got mail!

JAKE: Oh my gosh guys! (gets envelope from Announcer) We’ve got Tyra mail guys! (hands the envelope to Roger)

ROGER: (reading the note) "Are you ready to strut your stuff? Be ready at 2am. Tyra."

TRISTAN: 2am!? Are you serious? I need my beauty sleep.

CHAD: I won’t be ready by then! (Grabs Jake by the shirt) I won’t be ready by then!!!!

ORLANDO: Umm do you like think it’s like possible to loose like five pounds by tomorrow?

ROGER: No. 

         LIGHTS: blackout 
         MSX: short music hit 
         LIGHTS: restore 
         We see the boys at other side of the stage 
         staring down at a pile of hats, mittens, a baseball
         glove and some oven mitts

ANNOUNCER: Ok guys you are all here today for a risqué hat and mitten shoot. (Guys pick up really ugly hats and gloves)

JAKE: Hey! Mine aren’t mittens … these are oven mitts!

ROGER: Yeah! And I have a baseball glove!

ANNOUNCER: Hey! We had a rough year…its just what we had! 

         MSX: Music plays in background … 
         The guys start posing. If possible, photos – 
         previously taken – appear on a slide screen

PHOTOMAN: Work it (POSE #1 – hold …) Work it! Yea perfect! Lift your chin a little more! Perfect! (POSE #2 – hold …) Keep that! Excellent! (POSE #3 – hold …) you guys are done!

CHAD: Did I do okay because in one shot I think I lifted my chin too high.

ORLANDO: Did my butt look too big? 

         LIGHTS: Blackout 
         MSX: short music hit 
         LIGHTS: up on panel with Tyra

TYRA: Welcome to judging guys. This will be our fourth cut into who will become America’s Next Top Model. And of course we have some wonderful prizes. A contract with the Ford agency and photo spread in J C Penny magazine that will hit stands in Feb. 2010. Lets take a look at the photo. (PHOTO appears on screen, if possible while Tyra, who is almost crying continues ...) I’m so proud of you guys. You all look like real models. Ok now for your evaluations. Jake … I love the way your facial expressions are in the photo. Roger- You worked that baseball glove. Orlando- You look snaps fierce in this photo. Chad …

CHAD: I KNOW I LOOK TERRIBLE! I’m Such a loser! (Starts crying)

TYRA: When I call your name you are still in the running to become America’s Next Top Model. Roger- Congrats Roger you are still in the running to become America’s next top model. Jake- Congratulations. Tristan … man, you worked this photo like a JC penny pro. Will Chad and Orlando please step forward. (Orlando and Chad step forward.) Orlando … you look amazing in this photo but watch the weight issue. Chad … you have some real self-esteem problems. Go get some help. You’re eliminated. (Chad runs off crying.)

ANNOUNCER: And that’s it for this week. Stay tuned for next week as the four remaining guys battle to become America’s next top model!

         MSX: music hit 
         LIGHTS: blackout

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